When women were women and porn was porn

The day before yesterday i discovered a german artbook with a collection of post WWII erotica, when women looked so much more like me, soft, curvy and well, not starved.
somehow, they were much more appealing than the fashionable current look of large-breasted, bleached and small hipped dolls.

think pin-ups.

no need to show you modern-day erotca, si?

A guide for the inexperienced booker or the booker's guide to the galaxy : PART 2

during our last tour i had a few new ideas to mention, some are very basic really, but i thought they're still important enough to point out -


no detail is too small to mention - ask whether they'll feed or lodge you.

send them your technical requirements - otherwise you'll find out the venues is missing mics or even a sound system - yes, even a PA and speakers!

try to make an easy course - make sure the distances are not too far, the roads in Poland for instance are very narrow and slow, you'll pass through villages and farms - and it'll take about 12 hours to finish a 700 kilometers long ride.
we had to learn the hard way - we were late twice, one of the gigs had been cancelled. they start early, at 20:30.
(you can use GooggleMaps in order to calculate the distances between cities), you can even check the prices for gas in different countries online.

oh yeah, of course! make sure you know when's your sound check!

ask for an emergency phone number of the gigs' promoter, just in case. you never know whether there's a tornado coming up or killer bees heading your way. or well, you know, you might just get lost on the way, it's a new town and a new language and all.

you should also check the local currency's value, just to make sure you know how much you're spending on a local sandwich... it might surprise you later, unless you learn in advance.

you'll need visas to enter certain countries - or at least a transit visa, to pass through. especially in Eastern-Europeans countries. ask your embassy or check it online.

a day without any gigs is only good if you're not worried about money,
otherwise it'll be extra expenses - car rental, sleeping places, etc...

always make extra cash by selling merch - cd's are absolutely necessary.

try to research about the local press, ask your promoter or the booker whether you can send anything to the local magazines/radio stations. yes, usually, it's not your job, but when you're completely on your own, it's just one of those things that you can take care of, not all places promote their own gigs.


hey, good luck!

Subcultures : The kids of the 80's or meet The Fringes

We are a mix and match generation.

i think we can name the semi-invisible current subculture, the mega-subculture that no one's really aware of- "the fringes". it's raw at the ends, it twists many different styles from the 20th century, but not only, it goes further into the decades. it's an extension of punk and later indie and it's not quite either. i think the anti-folkers were part of it in the early 2000's, and now it's the likes of Patrick wolf and Mikachu and even Florence Welch and the new generation of folk musicians, such as Devendra Banhart. it's the result of the instant information, the accessibility of multiple kinds of information at the same time, the Internet, the recorded history - presented to us, kids of the 1980's, creating a nostalgia
towards times that we had never really lived through, though we know what they looked liked and we certainly know what they sounded like.

The Fringes have a certain "do it yourself" attitude towards art, but they're not afraid of the industry, especially when it adopts them the way they are, without interfering. i bet we'll see examples in literature and television as well, when it gets a bit more mainstream and loses it's charm. it feels apocalyptic, like a last revolution, but perhaps every revolution wants to be the last and becomes suicidal. it certainly has a more politically aware attitude - more queer friendly, more environmental... it's not necessarily Caucasian-dominated, the world's changing, people moving from one place to another, eventually we'll all be a blend of nationalities and origins. nothing will be exotic anymore, unless WE make it such.

the fringes resent the mainstream, television and most of the music on the radio. it thrives in large cities all over the world, but it's completely under the radar as a movement, an ideology. people fail to recognise the spirit, which unites all "hipsters"... - we give them a general name, while there's something more that makes them part of THIS time and not the 1980's or the 90's or any other decade.

A guide for the inexperienced booker or the booker's guide to the galaxy

May you be a band member seeking gigs or an aspiring booker for others, erm, yeah.
you might find these tips useful:

* the best time to write to either venues or promoters is about three months in advance - it's not too early and not too late. that's what i found from my experience. but it differs from one promoter to another.

* don't send exaggerated superlatives or press quotations, write a short description yourself. make it simple and to the point, depending on whom you wish to impress that is.

* you can send a photo or a couple, just throw them into the package. it's pretty, it's colorful and it's not very hard.

* don't send mp3's directly, send links. a myspace address or a website will do.

* don't send demos by mail, that is actual cd's. you'll soon realize it's damn expensive and that nobody bothers to listen to them these days, clubs claim that a lot of people still send cd's by mail, i think it's a waste of time and money.

* always look for a similar band/band you like from the city where you wish to play.
they might have the right audience for you. ask to share the bill with them, later when they come to your town, you'll help THEM out.

* think of your target audience - is you music arty? try art spaces, galleries and so on. party music? talk to party collectives. queer? talk to a ladyfest.

* for places to stay you can either try couch surfing, or if you're left winged and socially/politically involved, you can always seek autonomous collectives, squats and so on. or in the worst case - there's always hostels or your cosy little van.
some places have a room for guest bands, they will tell you about it themselves.
clubs obviously don't. but they also usually pay more.

* most importantly - don't hesitate to ask for help! ask everyone you think might have more information than you do. yes, that means - other bands. most people will like to be able to assist.

for a list of booking collectives and venues in Europe ask me via e-mail:
marycheeses at gmail dot com

Women are from Venus... and they're hungry for revenge

According to "Queen of Outer Space" (1958), women are desperate, uptight mean bitches... and of course, all they need is a dick.


Memorable quote:
"men did this to me! men and their wars!!!"

Valuable lesson:
Ugly women (with disfigured faces) will never be loved.


watch it here.

Weirdos & trends: novelty acts, outsider artists and popular culture.

There is a fine line between complete obscurity and popular culture.

A "novelty" they call it.
it could be a funny gag or a new take on mundane matters that arrives at the right split of a second and drives millions mad (for another second or so).

As in the fine example of Tiny Tim who seemed always very much aware of his double standard position - he had always known the crowd never took him seriously. it's in his body language.
as a musician he was never the mainstream's cup of tea, they found him so ridiculous it was funny. funny is good. Americans love funny.



The lovely Klaus Nomi and Lene Lovich.
what happened in the 80's stays in the 80's (or the late 1970's).
The 1980's are known for their extravagant neon bright fashion, shoulder pads and for quite some vocalists with impossible hairdos, amongst other things that couldn't possibly be tolerated in the following couple of decades.



or this wonderful recording from 1901 by Dan W. Quinn - "I want to go to Morrow", which is based on a simple word play, you can either admire it for it's simplicity or find dull with such little effort.

or the whole Screamin' Jay Hawkins' voodoo thing. the costumes, the little friend on a stick, absolutely everything.



or the 90's hit "I'm too sexy", which is quite funny if you ignore the trashy pop that was forced onto it in the cheesy video.



or the more recent example of Electric 6 with "Danger! high voltage!" and "Gay bar" (the only songs that became smash hits of the band's entire catalogue).



Liam Lynch's "United states of whatever". or perhaps better yet - this one:



or funny guys like Jon Lajoie and one of his many masterpieces, "Show me your genitals":



or the Harry Merry phenomenon:




Outsider artists like Wesley Willis, even the Legendary Stardust Cowboy. or Avant-garde troubadours like Scott Walker live according to their own rhythm, and aren't bothered with a certain zeitgeist - they seem to be untouched by the time, able to base their entire careers upon a single schtick and it'll be so illusive or so ridiculous you'll end up wondering whether you can see what someone with a fine taste says there is. sometimes you'll find yourself both admiring it and feeling somewhat repulsed at the same time, knowing there's something not quite right about it.
The main difference between an "outsider artist" and just a very kooky showman is in the use of the medium - the first's usually limited (or on the contrary) by his technique or mental perception and the other -well, is just putting on an act, an exaggerated, extravagant, over-the-top show.


other really good novelty tracks you should listen to:

No bra - "Munchausen"
Bob McFadden - "The mummy"
George M. Cohan - "Life's A Funny Proposition After All"
Ada Jones And Billy Murray With The American Quartet - "Come Josephine In My Flying Machine"
Bob Peck - "Sweet sixteen".